Moving from New York to South Korea to become an English teacher has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. As the one year mark approaches, I marvel at my milestones, accomplishments, and the lessons I’ve learned. Despite all this, it has also been the most challenging year too. It’s normal to face challenges when adjusting to a new culture and lifestyle.

Here are 6 Challenges You May Face In South Korea and Tips On How To Adjust:

1. People May Not Be Direct With You

One thing you’ll learn quickly is that people may not always say what they mean. When someone asks you if you would like to do something, you may feel obligated to say yes. It’s like a trick question. In some situations, you can decline but typically out of respect I think the rule of thumb is to accept, otherwise the person may not offer you something again. 

• Tip: If you are unsure of what someone wants, ask questions. Try to understand the situation before giving an answer. For example, out of politeness, you may hear questions like, “Would you like…?” “Do you want …? even if it’s a part of your job duties. Maybe you’re thinking you’re being asked about your personal preference but really it’s just a nice way to say, “here is what I’d like for you to do.” It also helps to guess what someone is implying, read body language and tone of voice.

2. Apartment Management

Your landlord may have or need access to your apartment. On the one hand if you require help with something, for example you’re leaving for vacation or need something fixed, it’s great that they can assist even if you’re not physically home. The challenge comes when management isn’t clear on the date and time that they are stopping by. They may show up randomly, like early in the morning or you may find your front door open because they came to work on something. This can be a source of frustration. This kind of situation doesn’t happen to everyone but it has happened to some.

• Tip: If you would like to limit the chances of this happening, politely express to your apartment management that you’d like to be notified about any visits in advance. Also pay attention to any notices or announcements placed on the doors or walls of the apartment building.

3. Group Dining and Restrictive Diet

Group dining is very common in Korea. It’s very much a part of their culture: eating together. Though Korean cuisine consists of various dishes made with beef, chicken, duck, fish, seafood or pork, a restaurant may serve only one kind of meat. At many restaurants, portions typically serve two or a group of people. You’d need at least one other person who is interested in eating the same meal as you. This becomes challenging if you have a restrictive diet such as you don’t eat meats like pork or seafood. Pork meat or stock is found in many foods in Korea. Also, when you’re shopping for pre-made food, pork may not be stated on the front label.

• Tip:  Hopefully the people you’re dining with chooses a place where you all can enjoy a great meal. If not, enjoy the various banchans 반찬(side dishes) with rice. Restaurants typically offer unlimited banchan refills. What’s great is that banchans are vegetables cooked with flavorful Korean spices. I’ve had to skip out on work dinners due to the choice of restaurant. If you have any food restrictions, before trying a new food dish, ask if it’s made with pork dwaeji gogi 돼지고기.

4. Feeling Like An Outsider and Living Alone

Depending where you live, you might be the only foreigner around. If you don’t have a basic understanding of Korean, you won’t understand what’s being said around or to you most of the time. You may start to feel like an outsider after experiencing this day after day because it’s hard to join the conversations happening around you. You may feel like often times you’re misunderstood.

• Tip: Do the things you love (sports, language exchanges, etc) with others to build relationships and opportunities to spend time with others, instead of being alone. This may be challenging for people living in smaller, rural towns, so you may have to travel to find your community. My biggest advice is to try to learn as much Korean as possible. The language barrier is the biggest hurdle. Once you cross that, it’s easier to feel included. It may seem easier to withdraw from conversations but making an effort to have small talk or just smiling helps. You can start building relationships with the people around you by also doing something thoughtful like bringing snacks for everyone. Find opportunities to give. And do join communities with other foreigners, too (in-person or online). Oftentimes they are experiencing the same feelings.

5. Communication With People Older and Younger Than You

Korean language is hierarchical. It emphasizes different levels of politeness and formality. The way that you’d speak to a child is not the way you’d speak to someone older than you, like an older co-worker, your principal or an elderly man or woman. It’s very important that you know the difference. Here is an example: Hello! Child (informal): anneyeong 안녕, someone older than you (standard): anneyeong haseyo 안녕하세요, school principal/elderly (most formal/ respectful): anneyeong hasimnikka 안녕하십니까. In the beginning you may accidentally bow when greeting a child or use informal language with an adult. People will be forgiving if you make a mistake but in the back of your mind you may feel like you’re offending people or not being formal enough.

• Tip: Practice makes perfect. I’d suggest learning formal language jondaenmal 존댓말 first, but keep in mind that you’d speak to a child in informal language banmal 반말.

6. The Quick Quick (Pali Pali 빨리빨리) Culture

There is a saying in Korea, stemming from their history of rapid infrastructure, called “pali pali,” which means quickly or faster. Everything is meant to happen quickly, like there’s a sense of urgency. Depending on the country you’re from this can be challenging. You may see people walking quickly in the work space or outside. You can see this “pali pali” culture in their fast food and parcel delivery service. While that’s great, plans can also change quickly or last minute. You’re expected to go with the flow and be flexible. There’s also another saying, “eat as fast as the slowest person at the table.” Well, the slowest person eats fast too, even if they’re eating a steaming hot bowl of soup.

• Tip: Try your best to be open minded and understanding. In life, unexpected things do happen, plans can change, and it’s typically not on purpose. If you’re a slow eater like me, try eating with a spoon in large group setting, unless you can eat fast while using chopsticks.

One thing I know for sure is all these challenges helped me to think differently and better deal with situations like this in the future. It’s also given me more insight on Korean culture. As much as living in a foreign country has been challenging to me, it’s also challenging for the natives or locals to understand foreigners. With an open-mind, patience, and politeness (with a little straightforwardness when necessary haha) we can understand each other.