Living in a foreign country, adjusting to a new lifestyle and culture has its ups and downs, not to mention being away from family and close friends. And now we’re living in the midst of two global pandemics: covid19 and racism. While one – covid19 – in recent months has globally disrupted everyday life and claimed the lives of people all over the world (may their soul’s rest in peace), the other – racism – though it has been a deep rooted issue for centuries, in recent months countries like the United States and the UK have experienced heinous acts targeting people of color (may their souls also rest in peace and may justice prevail). And that, my friends, was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Experiencing any of these situations can start to take a toll on a person’s mental health. 

Emotions that can arise from the previously stated situations are: frustration, anger, and helplessness, to name a few. What I’ve discovered through personal experience and the experiences of other people is that the two common emotions that can heavily affect a person’s everyday life is: stress and anxiety. I’m grateful that my job isn’t the source of either of those emotions. But life as we know it is unpredictable, beautiful, challenging and everything in between. That “unpredictability,” “the unknown” factor can be the fuel for stressful and anxious thoughts.

Below I share 16 things that have helped me cope with moments of stress and anxiety. For me, to cope means to recognize and acknowledge what I’m feeling, seek to understand why I feel that way and work on how I can deal with it in a healthy way now and in the future. Disclaimer: I am not a certified or licensed medical professional or therapist. These suggestions are derived from my personal experiences.

Here are 16 Ways to Cope With Stress and Anxiety:

1. Praise & Worship, Reading Scripture, Prayer and Devotion – Psalms 91 says, “God is our refuge and fortress, a very present help in times of trouble.” Whether we are living alone, with roommates, friends or family, there is someone who promises to be there with us. He is God. We have access to him through praise & worship, reading the bible, praying and devotional time.

Praise and worship allows us to take our mind off ourselves to show appreciate, gratitude, respect and honor the living God. Songs like, “Be still my soul,” “Great is thy faithfulness,” “Abide with me,” “God is here within us,” and my recent favorite, “Oh love of God how strong and true,” can help us express this thankfulness. Singing also allows us admit our most vulnerable thoughts eg. “I need thee every hour ;” thoughts we couldn’t find the words to express on our own.

The bible is the word of God. John 1:1 says “In the beginning was the word, and the word was God and the word was with God,” When we read the bible we get to remind ourselves of God’s character. We see that he’s delivered his children in the past by keeping his promises. When we aren’t spending time with God, we can easily forget or lose sight of his loving, merciful, faithful, unchanging character.

The bible is also filled with scriptures that uplight, inspire, heal and give hope. Some scriptures help us express what we are suppressing inside.

Here are some of my favorite uplifting bible verses:

Matthew 11:28 – Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

1 Peter 5:7 – Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

Philippians 4:6-7 – Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Prayer allows us to directly communicate with God. No matter where we are – in the office at work, the bathroom, a plane, our bedroom – God is there and he is listening. He wants to hear about your rough day, your worries, your fears. Don’t keep them to yourself.

Devotion is devoting a set time to spend with God. During this time maybe you’re listening or reading content (eg. devotionals) that testifies of him, explains his character, reveals humans’ true nature and need for Christ. This motivates the reader or listener to keep pursuing their relationship their God.

2. Practice Gratitude – Whenever I’m ready to complain about something I remind myself to think of a few things I’m grateful for. Life is always the first thing I’m grateful for because without it, there wouldn’t be anything to be grateful for. There’s always something to be grateful and appreciative of.

3. Explore nature – One of my favorite scriptures says,

The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament sheweth his handiwork.

Psalms 19: 1

Though this verse only mentions heaven, or sky, I think all nature declares the glory of God’s craftsmanship. The mountainous landscape in my town can easily get my mind off life’s troubles. It’s amazing how surrounding yourself in nature can help to take stresses away. I think their unique color, sound, smell, stature, and texture influence our emotions in the most subtle ways. We are so small compared to the vast landscape that surrounds us. This dichotomy hints to an even greater being, the creator of the vast landscapes, God.

4. Journal – Writing your thoughts down can be very therapeutic. It definitely helps to put a situation into perspective. The great thing about journaling is you can always go back and read what you wrote. Oftentimes when I reread my journal entries, I realized I had nothing to worry about. Emotions are always high in the heat of that moment. Journaling also reminds us of details we easily forget or lessons we learned from a mistake.

I think journaling also helps us experience deeper. We could easily brush off what we are feeling, ignore the unsettling feeling we have or we can write about it, acknowledge it and accept it for what it is. For me, the acknowledgement on paper lessens the hold of the anxiety.

5. Take a deep breath, relax and give it time – It’s easier to deal with most situations as time goes by. Of course the day to day can be hard, but each day is an opportunity to do something different. And it’s okay to rest. The body and mind needs that. I know sometimes we may feel pressure – internally and externally – to always have something to do. Get busy. But then how we feel on the inside (matters of the heart) goes unnoticed or ignored. Take some time to relax. 

6. Socialize – No man is an island. We were created to socialize with other human beings. Call, text message or visit family and friends. This may be hard right now due the coronavirus pandemic, so video call. Hearing the sound of another person’s voice can help sooth a worrying mind. And you also never know who is going through the same thing as you. Oftentimes you’ll realize you are not alone.

Stress and anxiety are common human emotions. Of course we shouldn’t bask in them but it’s normal to have moments where you feel anxious or stressed out. Hopefully not too often. Communicating with other people sometimes helps us understand our situation better. It also helps to read or share on forums or social media group pages. My church here in Korea has been my greatest blessing. I look forward to being around the members there, laughing, eating, learning, and sharing with one another.

7. Go for a walk, run or work out session – Exercise allows the body to release stressful markers. It’s also rejuvenating and challenges you to focus just on the health of your body. Release all that pent up emotion on pre/post workout stretches, the treadmill, an afternoon stroll, a jog, the dumbbells, or weight racks. Find an exercise that works but please don’t keep your emotions bottled up inside or take them out on other people. 

8. Dance to your favorite song – I almost forgot to add this to the list. When we are anxious we tend to be closed off, loss in thought, very still or tensed. None of which is possible in dancing. Wave your arms, swing side to side, like working out but without the sets and reps. Dancing is carefree, joyful, and freeing. I usually have an upbeat gospel song or Justin Beiber Changes album playing and I’m jamming. 

9. Set time for self care – A face mask and music can work wonders. Take a cool bath or shower and allow yourself to decompress. Ladies get your hair done, nails done, everything did. Men get your beard done, hairline done, nails done too and everything else did. Pamper yourself. Taking care of ourselves reminds us that we are important, valuable, worthy. Self confidence is it’s own medicine.

10. Give – Giving your time and effort to a cause or giving an actual gift has a healing effect. It takes the mind off of self and places it on others. As an English teacher, focusing on my students’ progress motivates to be a better teacher and person overall. I also enjoy sharing things with my coworkers. At my school, it’s common for  staff members or teachers to bring snacks for everyone to try. This kind of community sharing is prevalent in Korea and I’ve come to have deep appreciation for it.

11. Clean – Yes, I said it. Try picking up a broom, vacuum to clean and clear up your space. I always find that washing the dishes and letting the water run down my hands helps me relax. The act of cleaning your physical space can help the mental space to feel organized, uncluttered, free and open. Nothing brings a genuine smile to my face than a super clean kitchen. If your space is already clean at the moment, rearrange things a bit. Sometimes change is good for the soul. The monotony of the same ole same ole can bring the spirit down.

12. Laugh. A lot. A good laugh can keep fear, anxiety and worries at bay. I’m trying not to take life so seriously. For example, I had a “bug invasion” in my apartment on Sunday, October 20th, 2019. Bugs really bug me. Get it? Haha. Moving on. Though I think I’m still scarred from that situation, I’ve told almost everyone I know about it. I find any opportunity to make a joke about it. When we entertain stressful, anxious thoughts, we are subconsciously giving them more power and avenues to control us. Humor can free us from that.

13. Pursue a hobby/ learn a new skill – Start a blog! Just kidding. Actually I’m not. Go ahead execute the idea that’s been brewing in your heart, that’s keeping you up at night. Most of us have more down time these days due to the pandemic. Lately, I’ve taken a special interest in cooking Korean food. I get so excited to see my friends and family exploring new interests now that they’re spending more time at home. A few weeks ago I started taking  Turkish and Korean language classes on Preply. It’s a great affordable platform for one on one online lessons for any budget. For some it may be hiking, photography, painting, coding; the options are endless. Take advantage!

14. Take a break from social media and the news – Every time I go on social media, I constantly see news on coronavirus updates, injustices happening to people of color, or just unfortunate disasters that have taken place. It’s so saddening and heartbreaking to read. On social media, I usually express my condolences and pray for them then I have to take a break. The constant updates can be overwhelming. For some people, the constant updates may not affect them, but you know yourself better than anyone else. Protect your mental health. 

15. Immerse yourself in an interesting book, movie, TV series, or podcast – Fiction, non-fiction, a new doc-series or my favorite Turkish shows –  there is so much knowledge and just pure entertainment hidden in these mediums. I like to keep a notepad nearby in case I hear a life nugget, or gem from anything I watch or listen to. I’d consider it productive bingeing if I took notes on a show or movie I watched over several hours. FYI, I’m not promoting any kind of binge watching, as it has negative effects on the eyes. 

16. Talk to your doctor or health care professional – Sometimes stress and anxiety could be signs of an underlying health problem. Talk to your doctor if you start to have recurring stress or anxious episodes or maybe you’re just concerned about your health. Everything could be fine as well, but it’s worth talking to a professional as well.

Keeping yourself active and busy living life shouldn’t be confused with being overworked. Doing the activities mentioned above are great ways to not just cope with stress and anxiety but to have a fulfilling life. It shouldn’t be about ignoring your issues but understanding them. I know I have moments when I have to stop everything I’m doing to just sit and think about what’s bothering me.

We start to get into dangerous territory when we neglect our responsibilities (ourselves, family, job, children, etc) to simply dwell on stressful or anxious thoughts. Personally, I never want to let stress or anxiety take over and prevent me from living my life. Because of this, I’m constantly reminding myself to: recognize, acknowledge, seek to understand and work through whatever is bothering me. Meanwhile, I’ll keep enjoying my life and so should you. Don’t worry. I understand life can be scary at times, very uncertain, and unfortunate things do happen. Be positive. Think positive. But I want to encourage you and myself with the words of God:

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28